When Everything Feels Urgent: A Conversation About Meaningful Giving

The constant whiplash of the news cycle can feel frustrating and overwhelming. More and more rights are being taken away. More and more funding is being cut from public services, educational institutions, and non-profit organizations. It can feel like a struggle to keep up with how many spaces need support while juggling your long-term giving goals.

You may be asking yourself questions like: What am I supposed to be doing? Am I doing the right thing? Is this the most helpful thing I could be doing right now? All of it can feel so overwhelming that you just freeze.

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It is easy to get stuck ruminating on these questions or become a collector of ideas, but either way, it can lead to inaction in a time when it is more critical than ever to take action and truly live your values.

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I have also felt like I’m in that place at times, so I reached out to Haley Bash at Donor Organizer Hub and Steve Sampson at Better Word Partners to get their opinion about navigating these times.

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What role should self-care and emotional processing play in philanthropic decision-making?

Haley:

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Giving can stir up a lot: urgency, grief, guilt, hope. At Donor Organizer Hub, we’ve seen how easy it is to make rushed decisions from a place of panic — and how much more sustainable giving becomes when it’s grounded in clarity and connection.

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We encourage people to take a moment to reflect before giving. Ask:

• Is this decision coming from alignment with my values — or from pressure to act immediately?
• If it feels like pressure — where is it coming from? Is it the news cycle? Doomscrolling on social media? A fundraising email with language like “time is running out”? A personal ask from someone you care about and don’t want to disappoint?
• Now that I’ve named the pressure — what would it feel like to pause, breathe, and give from a slower place?

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Once you’ve slowed down, consider how you want to start building a relationship with the groups you support. In her blog post, Donor Organizer Hub advisor Lisa Tracy offers simple, clear steps for building relationships with organizations — from learning about their mission and programs to participating in public-facing events. She emphasizes that thoughtful relationship-building doesn’t require special access — just intention and curiosity.

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Steve:‍

We all make better decisions when we work from places of connection and emotional security rather than exhaustion and stress. None of us is at our best when we’re afraid of making mistakes or being exposed to ridicule. So it’s important to ground ourselves and “fill our emotional tanks” before making important decisions.

That’s true of important philanthropic decisions as surely as it’s true of important life or relationship decisions — because philanthropic decisions are important life and relationship decisions.

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Anyone who tells you that decision-making should be strictly logical and emotionless has a poor understanding of decision-making. Decisions reflect values; their “logic” only emerges in the context of the values they seek to further. Philanthropic decision-making should always be about advancing the values you care about as best you can. The values and the caring come before the reasoning.

What advice would you give to people who feel paralyzed by the scale of current challenges but want their giving to reflect their values in meaningful ways?

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Steve:

When we’re overwhelmed or burned out, we tend to revert to reactive, short-term thinking that can inadvertently reinforce the very disconnection we’re trying to address.

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Ground yourself by returning to your fundamental values: What are you trying to accomplish? Who can move the world in that direction? What are all the ways you might help them?

Choose one to start with and do it. That’s one meaningful act. It will likely lead you to another, which may lead you to another and another. In the worst case, you’ll go from being paralyzed to acting meaningfully in some small way. Best case, you’re off and running for months and years to come.

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Haley:

Start with who and what you already care about. If you’re feeling stuck, look for signposts:

• Do you already follow a group’s work or share their updates?
• Have you donated to them before and felt good about it?
• Do they work on an issue or in a place that feels close to home or heart?
  Are they recommended by someone you trust?

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If the answer is yes to even one of those, that’s a good place to begin. Instead of trying to give a little to dozens of groups, consider going deeper with 3–5. Going deeper can reduce overwhelm by helping you focus your attention, build trust, and feel more connected to the impact of your giving.

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You might also reflect on:

• What giving experiences have felt meaningful to me — and why? (e.g., you felt aligned with the group’s mission, saw a clear update, or were thanked in a way that felt human)
• What didn’t feel good — and why? (e.g., the group followed up constantly with asks but no updates, or you didn’t know if your gift made a difference)
• What’s one small next step I could take to deepen a relationship with a group that’s felt meaningful — or to shift away from a pattern that didn’t feel good?

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Some next steps might include:

• Scheduling a call with the group to learn more about their current priorities
• Making a recurring gift to reduce decision fatigue going forward
• Writing a quick note to thank them and share why you support them — relationships go both ways, and your words could be used as a testimonial to inspire other donors

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What approaches would you suggest for balancing the urgent needs of today with investment in long-term systemic change?

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Haley:

You don’t have to choose between supporting immediate needs and resourcing long-term transformation. One way to approach this is by creating a giving plan that includes both — for example:

• Budgeting a portion (say 50%) of your giving for groups you’ll support year-round
• Keeping the rest flexible so you can respond to urgent needs, unexpected opportunities, or crisis moments

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What matters most isn’t having the perfect split — it’s having a practice of ongoing reflection. What felt aligned last year might shift this year. That’s okay. A simple plan gives you something to return to and adjust as needed.

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Steve:

Assume that the people closest to the problems know best. Do not assume that long-term systemic change is more “strategic,” “philanthropic,” or “wise” than meeting immediate needs.

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The work of change requires that we be fully human and deeply connected to those in need *and* that we simultaneously work for long-term change. I have never believed that coming down strongly on one side of this question makes moral or practical sense. At the same time, I have always believed in conversation, listening, and drawing on the wisdom of others.

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My best advice here comes back to practicing a form of community-embedded decision-making: Create space (literal or at least mental) to gather collective wisdom and shared discernment from those closest to the issues you’re addressing. Listen, learn, and plug in where it makes the most sense for you to help, given the types of resources and knowledge you have to share.

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When someone feels overwhelmed by multiple competing crises, what practical strategies would you recommend to help them determine where their resources can have the most meaningful impact?

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Steve:

People who have worked with me for years will tell you that one of my favorite sayings is “don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” This is helpful advice for writers trying to get words down on a page. It’s helpful advice for entrepreneurs trying to get new products off the ground. And it’s helpful advice for social changemakers.

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Philanthropy has all sorts of (mostly unspoken) biases against action: It worries (rightly!) about causing harm where it means to help; it worries (wrongly!) about the complaints of naysayers and nasty people; it often seeks (understandably!) not to create too many waves. Most tellingly, it typically wants to avoid touching the principal, the endowment capital, the invested assets that power perpetuity. All of that makes it prone to discovering vast amounts of paralyzing complexity.

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Don’t succumb to the idea that where there’s no perfect answer, there’s no right action. Often, where there’s no perfect answer, there are many right actions. Take one. Then another, and another. Course correct if you need to. But do keep going.

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Haley:

Focus on where you already have connection — or where you’re willing to build it.

Rather than starting with a list of urgent causes, try beginning with these questions:

• Have I taken time to listen to what a group or community is asking for? That might mean reading a recent newsletter, watching a short video or webinar, scanning a year-end report, or simply asking, “What’s most needed right now?” when you’re in conversation.
• What resources do I actually have to offer — money, time, skills, personal stories, or relationships? For example:
  - Treasure: giving now or pledging for later
  - Time: joining a volunteer shift or helping with logistics
  - Talent: offering your design, strategy, admin, or event support
  - Testimony: sharing why you give in a newsletter or on social media
  - Ties: introducing the organization to someone they’ve wanted to connect with
• Where is there alignment between what I can give and what’s being asked for — and how can I offer it? That might look like replying to a newsletter to offer help, sending a warm intro email, or simply saying, “I care about your work and want to support — here’s what I have capacity for right now.”

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And don’t go it alone. Giving doesn’t have to be — and ideally shouldn’t be — solitary. Talk things through with a friend. You could even create an informal donor discussion group to share questions and reflections. If you’re a high net worth individual, consider joining an existing donor network — or reaching out to a donor advisor to help think through your next steps.